The Shoe Scheme

I saw Sex and the City 2 today. It was a disappointment - maybe not as colossally bad as the reviews made it sound, but still pretty plotless and not nearly as smart or witty as the series or the first movie. But, I'm a fan, so I enjoyed every shallow and gorgeous minute.

It also rekindled my suppressed desire to own a pair of really expensive coutoure Blahnik or Louboutin shoes. Anyone who knows me knows I really, really love shoes. Like these patent Mary Janes, which I could wear to work:

Or these, which I most definitely could not:

However, if you know me, you also know I am far too practical to ever spend $600 on a pair of shoes. Ever. Last year, I won an unexpected $650 dollars for a project at work, and after seriously flirting with the idea of buying a pair of the mary janes (really, I would probably wear them for decades so on a per-wear basis they would be a smart investment), bought a new dishwasher instead. I think of those shoes every time I load and unload the dishwasher.

I've finally realized that the shoe fairy or some besotten secret admirer is not going to magically gift the shoes. So, I've hatched a scheme. I'm going to sell random stuff on eBay - good stuff that I would normally give to Goodwill - and when I hit $600 I'm heading to Neiman Marcus. I came home and tossed the house - so far I've found a Pentax camera body (film - a classic that all photography students use), some old Nikon lenses, a bottle of Chanel No. 5 that just makes me smell like an old lady, Lily's Bob early reader books (sets 1-5, like new), some Kiehl's Silk Groom (used just once) that makes my hair look greasy, and a brand new doctor-grade stethoscope (where did that come from?). When I hit $600, the shoes are mine. Unless the washing machine breaks.